The Day My Phone Died
THE DAY MY PHONE DIED
Like most of us, I have come to depend on my phone for a lot of daily utilities like sending/answering texts, phone calls, emails, and of course…checking social media. That all came screeching to a halt recently when my phone decided it did not want charge any more. I took the phone to a local repair shop and I now will remain phoneless for the better part of the next week.
Because of my forced smartphone sabbatical, I thought I would use this occasion to think out loud about the potential impact that smartphones are having on our lives. My goal is to share some random thoughts and observations about the impact my smartphone usage may be having on me…and you. Here goes:
1.) I haven’t missed my phone.
There I said it. Isn’t it interesting how dependent we have become on our devices? Perhaps we feel naked without them. I admit, the first couple hours without it, I felt a little naked. Thoughts like “what if someone needs me?” or “what if I miss an important email?” or even worse “what if I miss something important on social media.”
We live in the tyranny of the immediate and smartphones feed that impulse. You know what I have found instead? The world gets along pretty well without me. My church members are not pining for my attention. Knowing that, I don’t miss my phone all that much and frankly it is freeing me to focus on other tasks with my whole heart and mind. We may feel we need to respond to every email or text within minutes or the whole world will spin off its axis. The truth is: The world does not need me as much as I think it does.
2.) I am less anxious.
Research shows that there is a direct correlation between anxiety and our usage of smartphones. I am a naturally anxious person but I have noticed that my anxiety has increased over the past few years. Church planting is an anxious vocation but have felt a growth in anxiety over the past 3-5 years. I perceive that my smartphone usage is contributing to the growth of anxiety in life. I possess a device that assaults me potentially unending information. As I sift through blog after blog about ministry, parenting, and marriage, all helpful, my mind cannot handle the information overload. Often I am left with the sense that I am falling short compared to “that” other church plant or “that” other pastor and his family. When we live with this constant anxiety, we are robbed of meaningful relational interaction in the present as we anxiously focus on the future.
How about you? Do you feel like you fall short of measuring up to others you see through social media and the blogosphere?
3.) I am more clear minded.
As I noted above, I feel more focused and able to give my heart and mind to other tasks, like writing for this blog for example. As I deliberately unplug from the never-ending barrage of information, my mind does not seem to race from one thing to the next as much. Over the past couple of weeks, I have seen some of the benefits. I have been resting better at night and have a better mental grasp on each day when I awake.
Most people know that I love to read books. I have no research to back this up but I believe the more I use my phone, the less I read books. I suspect this is due to the impact that screen time has on the brain. The cycle is toxic: The more we use our phones, the more our brains are numbed. The more our brains are numbed the more use our phones. It will take deliberate action to change this cycle.
4.) I am more available (mentally, emotionally and physically) to those I love the most.
Over the past few weeks, I have been implementing a deliberate plan to put various spheres into their proper space in my daily life. I need to put my ministry/vocational responsibilities & goals as well as personal and family responsibilities and goals in their proper place EVERY DAY! Here is the kicker: my devices, especially my phone, play a big part in that. When I am deliberate in putting my phone away at the end of my workday, for example, I feel more available emotionally, physically and mentally to my family. When I put proper boundaries on when and how I respond to messages, emails and phone calls and when I look at social media, I am more available to focus on exercise and a good diet.
SOME HEALTHY RHYTHMS
I suspect some of us might need to consider reframing our smartphone usage. I personally am considering dumping my smartphone in favor of a flip phone. Even so, conscientious Christians need to be judicious in our liberty and mindful of the impact our phones are having on us. Here are a few ways I am presently attempting to put boundaries on my smartphone and other devices. I am not anywhere close to where I want to be in these areas, but I am giving it my best effort.
- I am seeking to limit my phone (and other screen devices) usage between 5:00 am -8:30 am AND between 5-8:30 pm. My best mental state is early in the day. Knowing this, I am using 5-7 am for my sermon preparation and devoting 7-8:30 am to taking my boys to school, getting exercise, and eating a proper diet. When I do this, I give my day a fighting chance before I am assaulted by all the chaos the world has to offer. Additionally, I want to be available to enjoy my boys and wife in the evenings. I don’t like feeling like I have other things that I need to attend to when I should be focused on being a dad and husband. For me, this means deliberately keeping my phone in a room that is out of sight and out of mind. I plug my phone in the kitchen and try to walk away from it. This is a work in progress for me and it will be for you too. Most of the calls or texts I receive in the evening are from my family or from my close friends. These are appropriate of course. If it relates to ministry, then I will respond the next day unless it involves an emergency situation. When my day flows like this during the workweek, I am finding that I am more faithfully available to all the spheres I am called to live within.
- Absolutely NO phone after 8:30 pm. No scrolling through social media and no reading blog articles at night. My mind needs to rest. If I fill it up with tons of information from 8:30-10:30pm then I risk winding my brain up and hindering the quality of my sleep. This is still an area that is in process. I don’t typically get good REM sleep and I hope in time that will change. This is the hardest for me and Amanda. The first thing we have trained ourselves to do after the kids are in bed and our tasks are done for the day is to plop down on the couch and start scrolling. The result has been poor interaction with one another and less disciplined sleep patterns. This fall, we are choosing to make Monday-Thursday nights basically “Screen Free” for our family. Outside of watching a series on TV on some evenings as a couple if time allows, we are trying to be screen-free until Friday through Sunday Night.
- Schedule times during the day to respond to texts and emails. Because my job requires a good bit of study and reading, I am trying to respond to emails and texts only at the beginning of my day and at the end. I will check briefly in the middle and if a message warrants my immediate attention, I will address it. Otherwise, I have study/reading blocks that are screen-free throughout the week. I know this does not work for all vocations but most of us probably need to put our phones out of sight so as to unhinge ourselves from social media. Most companies now are blocking social media websites because of the effect it is having on workflow and productivity.
- Take an extended social media break weekly, monthly and quarterly. For me, this looks like no social media on weekends, a monthly 3-4 day social media sabbatical. It’s quite refreshing. You should try it.
- Remove social media apps from my phone. I am forcing myself to use social media only on that archaic device I call a laptop. I find that I have much more margin on my social media usage when using my computer and not my smartphone.
Some of you will likely disagree or feel that this is overreach. Perhaps. We all must search our own soul and see if what I am suggesting is the case. In the end, there is no one way to address our phone usage. Some may choose to depart from the smartphone world and some may choose to discipline their smartphone usage. Whichever you choose, my hope is that you will do it with the intention to glorify Jesus and make him preeminent in your relationships and rhythms. You might find that you have more time for God’s Word and prayer and perhaps more time for relationships outside your home. This is my hope for myself, my family and my church!
